Changes...

Changes...... Indeed I have been experiencing much physical changes during the past months. Soon into my 22nd week of pregnancy, I have certainly lost my better body shape. Hubby would always correct me by saying that I am pregnant, not fat, whenever I looked at the mirror and commented on how fat I have grown! Well, while I know what hubby said is factual, I guess being a woman, I am just being conscious of how I look!

Having said that, I am happier with the impending arrival of my baby than the 'physical sufferings' I am going through now. Well, in fact, I have much to give thanks for! Cos I have not experienced any of those unpleasant symptoms of pregnancy like morning sickness or leg cramps (hubby got some of that though! :p ); the difference for me so far are only occasional heartburn and the tendency to get tired if I am outdoors for too long, and of course my bigger shape now... but well, it's not so bad as compared to what I know could happen to a woman during her pregnancy!

Right now, I am just happy to be feeling the movement of my baby now and then. Sometimes, after feeling my baby's movement, I will just watch my tummy in anticipation of my baby's next move :D It's such a cute and wonderful feeling! Tomorrow, I will be going for a scan on my baby's organs development. I look forward to seeing how my baby has grown and to have the doctor ascertain the gender of my baby. During my 12th week of pregnancy, the doctor informed that my baby is likely going to be a boy. Though he was 95% confident, he cautioned us against rushing out to buy clothes and baby stuff... Haha... I couldn't resist since the yearly sale will end soon around that time. Well, I never bought that much anyway :]

I thank God for this baby. God has been so good and faithful. Often times, well meaning people have told me to conceive and not wait, or else I might not have children when I think I am ready... To me, God always know me best and I don't see that he will 'punish' me by withholding children from me due to my lack of faith in trusting Him to have kids when I am not ready... God has been great in providing for hubby and me the past years... and faithful to meet my 'conditions', so that I can have the confidence to try for children. God is incredibly gracious. Though He has given us the name for our child some 2 years ago, He waited for us to be ready... He first revealed the name to hubby, and later to me when I reached a stage where I was more ready to try (but not without having the 'conditions' met first so that I will not fear or lack faith to try). At a time when both hubby and I are in agreement and ready, He blessed us. I thank God that hubby and I don't have to struggle at all to conceive. Thus, looking ahead, I will trust God to see me through this pregnancy, the delivery process as well as bringing up this child! For He loves this child enough to think of him and have given him a name, even when we (the stewards He is entrusting us to take care of this child) were not ready yet then. God is indeed faithful!

Given that I am going into my final trimester soon, I will be heading back to my home country in Singapore to settle down and deliver my baby. I trust the medical support back home more than here in Dubai, as well as the family support I can count on, being a first-time mom. My family has been very welcoming and anticipative of my return. Thank God for family members like this!

With 2 more weeks left in Dubai (and not knowing if I will return), I guess I have no regrets coming here. Not just because of the exposure in living outside of Singapore or in a Muslim state or a prosperous place the world has heard so much about, but more so, the greatest benefit for me during the past 2 years in Dubai has been cementing a firmer relationship with hubby, settling our finances in a better place and ta-da... starting a family! Initially I have some apprehension in giving up my beloved career but looking back, I know I have made the right choice.

As for Dubai, I will miss the friends made here, as well as the church life here. Ironically, hubby and I enjoyed our church life here more than back home! Yes, there are downsides here, like rude people and drivers, bad traffic (and ever changing lanes as if designed to cause accidents), the heat during summer peak, lack of the wonderful food back home, seemingly unfair regulations and the hopeless administration here...... However, there are also the good here that I will remember and appreciate... like the winter period cool that Singapore never have, toilets that are clean, posh and require no queue, more opportunities to dine at restaurants (since price differ only slightly as compared to food courts), as well as the abundance of interesting buildings (some castle-like hotels like Atlantis, the surf board architecturally shaped Burj Al Arab, Wafi's paramid struture, the extravagant and grand golden Emirates Palace Hotel, the heritage-like buildings at Souk Bahar and Mardinat Jumeriah, as well as the famous Palm Jumeira and Burj Khalifa).

Well... am not sure at this point in time if home is the next long term 'stop' after my baby's arrival... or whether God will open doors for us to go to another part of the world for hubby's work, or to return to Dubai. Whatever changes ahead, I trust that God is ahead of us and may He lead us onto his paths of green pastures, still waters and His righteousness!